Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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