Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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