Don't you send me to vm
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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