i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
im calling her cock vulture from now on
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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