I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I don't think brook has ever known best
high people should be assigned attendants
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
