All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
