This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize