Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
