Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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