need another drink. this is the easiest way
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I just sucked dick on a ferry
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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