the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Text me some of your sweat
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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