I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
