if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
