smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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