you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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