butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
