Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.