stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
we're making bets on your personal life
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after