I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
