i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
