he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
