At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
