I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he thought i was a dude.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
