don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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