Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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