It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize