My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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