my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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