Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
