I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
