Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
