I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
