what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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