I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
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