Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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