i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
