Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
