waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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