yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
