All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
