You smell like a Billy Joel song
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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