my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
did i walk over a car last night?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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