you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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