I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
