I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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