I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
