your thong is hanging out like whoa
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
