i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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