i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
