Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
