I CAN MOONWALK!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
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