If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Randomize
