Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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