haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
