I need help removing her.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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