on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
