is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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