when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
