Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
True strength comes from lack of pants
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
