Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
