bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize